The Lord gave us farmers two strong hands so we could grab as much as we could with both of them.

Some people are born mediocre, some people achieve mediocrity, and some people have mediocrity thrust upon them.

"What would they do to me," he asked in confidential tones, "if I refused to fly them?" "We'd probably shoot you," ex-P.F.C. Wintergreen replied. "We?" Yossarian cried in surprise. "What do you mean, we? Since when are you on their side?" "If you're going to be shot, whose side do you expect me to be on?" ex-P.F.C. Wintergreen retorted.

I could not write about a subject sacred to me because I would be too flippant. Fortunately, there are no subjects sacred to me.

Hungry Joe collected lists of fatal diseases and arranged them in alphabetical order so that he could put his finger without delay on any one he wanted to worry about.

In the long run, failure was the only thing that worked predictably. All else was accidental.

There's a rule saying I have to ground anyone who's crazy ... There's a catch. Catch-22. Anyone who wants to get out of combat duty isn't really crazy.