One thing I’ve noticed about getting older, it takes twice as much work to get half the results one formerly achieved by falling out of bed.

This is how God made me. You are how God made you. All God's chillun are made how God made 'em. You think God made a mistake, take it up with Him.

Focus on someone else’s problems for a change, I instructed myself. You need the practice. From now on you’ll have to live in a world you didn’t make up. Horrible thought.

I noticed you right away." She gave me an approving look. "I like quiet, polite men. And men who wear Hugo Boss. I was hoping you weren't gay. Or that you were only half-gay. Like Paul." "Uh...sorry," I said. "It's pretty much full-time now. The pay's not great, but the perks...

I'm not insane. This is very simple, very straightforward. Provided he doesn't kill me, its foolproof.

I’m never wrong? Who besides Republican presidents and evil masterminds can say that with a straight face?

She shrugged another plump shoulder. “I never listened to Porter when he got going.” Ah. At last. The secret to a successful marriage.