One man's uplift is another man's sentimental hooey.

It never made sense to me that someone would achieve any kind of success in show business, only to become a jerk.

Cynicism is kind of like folding your arms and stepping back and commenting on things, like the old guys in 'The Muppets,' just throwing out comments all the time, whereas there are other people on the ground really trying to affect things and improve their lives and the lives of other people. I think it's noble and I think it's cool.

There's that great Bill Hicks line - the comedian - where he says, "Are you proud to be an American?" "I don't know. It's just where my parents had sex."

There's something melancholy about professors because they're chronically abandoned. They form these lovely relationships with students and then the students leave and the professors stay the same. It's like they're chronically abandoned.

The reflexive allergy to L.A. that a lot of New Yorkers have, I feel like it's kind of nonsense.

I sometimes don't know what I'm writing when I start writing it, on some level.