Memoir is a unique opportunity to revisit yourself. I don't mean by memory. I mean in the revision process. You don't just write a chapter and that's it. You must constantly return to it. You must dote on it. And even if it's saying something ugly about who you are, you have to find the poetry in it. You have to find the poetry in yourself.

The point of reading is to inhabit a consciousness that doesn't belong to the reader, immersing yourself in a life that's wholly realized. And a huge facet of our psychic and existential make-ups is the things we're not proud of, things we didn't ask to experience, the scenarios we flubbed.

I always feel that as the author, once I know what a character is ashamed of, then I can go about making her truthful on the page.

I used to consider myself to be a cineophile, and then I had a daughter. Ha! Now I barely see any movies.

I'm a very tactile learner, so I need analog index cards, moving them all about, trying out various sequences for the book's architecture.

In my life the right question is simply this: What can I do to be happy today?

If a character is honest with a reader, then (hopefully) that will engage the reader's empathy centers; she'll meet that openness with acceptance, and they'll forge a nourishing and meaningful bond as the book continues.