It's a great thing when a man knows how to dance, she said. When a man can dance, the world is his oyster." Adele, Henry's Mother

For 25 years, I did take my responsibilities as a pleaser of others sufficiently seriously.

The big dramas that fascinate me are the quiet ones that happen behind closed doors in so-called ordinary families.

No, I said. I didn't remember that. There was so much to remember, sometimes the best thing was to forget.

When I was 12 years old, I read Nancy Drew mysteries and biographies of Madame Curie and Florence Nightingale and books about girls who love horses or go to nursing school. I belonged to the Girl Scouts and got A's in school and rarely disobeyed my parents. I still kept a collection of Barbie dolls in my room, and I almost never spoke to boys.

Nothing like being visible, publishing one's work, and speaking openly about one's life, to disabuse the world of the illusion of one's perfection and purity.

The word NO, carries a lot more meaning when spoken by a parent who also knows how to say yes.