I just want the pain to end.

Who will see you through the darkness? "Me," I key in the answer. "I'll find my own way.

I close my eyes and black out the day. The exhaustion of living through it, surviving.

I hope they remember the good stuff, when I was a baby, a toddler, when they still had hopes and dreams for their little girl, their miracle child. In truth they were good to me. They were only doing what they knew how to do; what they thought was best.

I won't be alive so I won't care who finds me.

This is my fault. Mine. Making her think I'd be here for her.

I'm all she's got and if I don't make it this time . . ." You'll pass through the light. A ribbon of guilt twists my stomach. I'm all Kim and Chip have too. But the difference is, they'll be better off without me.