Because no one can be trusted.

Oh sure. Because we always talk about deep down stuff.

I'm sorry you don't get it, Mom. Sometimes I don't get why I do the things I do. I just know I wake up every morning and wish I was dead.

But its not funny. Not to people who've been told they're losers their whole lives and believe they will never be anything else.

What was I afraid of, exactly? What other people would think? I guess, a little. But that wasn't what was stopping me from acting on my feelings. It was the intensity of them. The desire for her. I knew if I gave into it, I'd have to surrender myself completely. I'd lose all control. Everything I knew, everything I was, the walls I'd built up to protect myself all these years would come crashing down. I might get lost in the rubble. Yet, she made me feel alive in a way I'd only ever imagined I could feel. Bells, whistles, music.

It was her way of saying, "You should kill yourself.

Do what, Kim? Lead a normal life? Too late. Way too late.