My second husband believed I had such a fickle attitude to friendship that each Friday he would update the list of my 'Top Ten' friends in the manner of a Top Of The Pops chart countdown.

Gluttony and idleness are two of life's great joys, but they are not honourable.

As a kid, I grew to define what I didn't want my life to be like by sitting behind moaning women on the bus, hearing them bang on about their aches and pains, both real and imagined.

I know that Brighton is famously a mixture of the seedy and the elegant, but in the summer of 2001 seediness swamped elegance hands down.

Being a monarchist - saying that one small group is born more worthy of respect than another - is just as warped and strange as being a racist.

A woman who looks like a girl and thinks like a man is the best sort, the most enjoyable to be and the most pleasurable to have and to hold.

What sort of sap doesn't know by now that picture-perfect beauty is all done with smoke and mirrors anyway?