A short-lived fascination with another person may be exciting-I think we've all seen people aglow, in a state of being "in love with love"-but such an attraction is not sustainable over the long run. Paradoxically, human love is sanctified not in the height of attraction and enthusiasm, but in the everyday struggles of living with another person. It is not in romance but in routine that the possibilities for transformation are made manifest. And that requires commitment.

The High Plains, the beginning of the desert West, often act as a crucible for those who inhabit them.

The very nature of marriage means saying yes before you know what it will cost. Though you may say the “I do” of the wedding ritual in all sincerity, it is the testing of that vow over time that makes you married.

In middle age we are apt to reach the horrifying conclusion that all sorrow, all pain, all passionate regret and loss and bitter disillusionment are self-made

I am learning to see loneliness as a seed that, when planted deep enough, can grow into writing that goes back out into the world.

But in order to have an adult faith, most of us have to outgrow and unlearn much of what we were taught about religion.

You can only see one thing clearly, and that is your goal. Form a mental vision of that, and cling to it through thick and thin.