And if your friends make fun of you for chasing your dream, remember—just lie.

I have never been more proud of the United States than I am this year. We have elected an African-American president. We have the stellar Michelle Obama setting the standard for American women. I simply cannot say it enough: look how far we've come.

Mrs. Charlotte Phelan's Guide to Husband-Hunting, Rule Number One: a pretty, petite girl should accentuate with makeup and good posture. A tall plain one, with a trust fund.

I may not remember my name or what country I live in, but you and that pie is something I will never forget.

They say it's like true love, good help. You only get one in a lifetime.

I'm sorry, but were you dropped on your head as an infant?

Only three things them ladies talk about: they kids, they clothes, and they friends. I hear the word Kennedy, I know they ain’t discussing no politic. They talking about what Miss Jackie done wore on the tee-vee.