Women don't want equal treatment, they couldn't handle it if they got it. It's a tough world out there. What a lot of women are actually looking for is special treatment. What women need to realise is that they have to toughen up, we can't ask for equal pay, you have to be paid on performance and the results you deliver.

Mammary militia breast feeding en masse in Costa. Puts one off their latte.

The difference between most mothers and me is that I didn't sit around drinking coffee at baby group for 12 months after the birth of my baby. No, in three weeks I was back in my suit, back at my desk earning profit for my business and I don't see why other women shouldn't do the same.

Nothing makes my buttocks clench tighter and my teeth itch more than 'Full Time Mummy'. Full time mummy is not a job title. It is a biological status.

I think women are really vicious in the work place, they're really jealous, really competitive. Women are emotional, they cry in toilets. The sisterhood only extends as far as the kitchen door. Men talk in logic and rational terms, they don't squark and make a noise.

A name, for me, is a short way of working out what class that child comes from. Do I want my child to play with them?

Sending us Ebola bombs in the form of sweaty Glaswegians just isn't cricket.