My heart sobbed a lament that was hard to ignore.

I'm your Beloved, dammit! You're going to let me save your soul, and like it!

I tried to avoid looking at the dress full on, lest it burn out my retinas with its glittering hideousness.

Just because I'm flaunting it doesn't mean you can stare for hours on end. A polite ogle is appreciated and suitable for a flaunt. Slobbering is not.

...my soul bleeding tears of anguish

Yes, he is a man, so genetically he's engineered to be dense about many things, but he's not stupid.

You think I'm deranged! How refreshing. Everyone here takes me so seriously, it's a wonderful change to be thought mentally deficient.