What do you know about women?" They smell nice, they don't like to be told they can't do something, and, when they're naked, they hold some sort of mystical power that overrides our brains and makes us do and say things that would normally be inconceivable.

Roxy, stop being so obnoxious!" -Joy "I'm never obnoxious; I'm just concerned." -Roxy

Hoo! You're like a giant mood ring! I wonder if I can make different colors show up depending on where i touch you - Nell Harris

My life used to be boring. A damnation here, a curse there, with an occasional blight or two to break routine. Now I have Aisling...She's better than reality TV, Internet porn sites, and the trashloids all put together.' - Jim

Do you want me to ride you like a rented mule, or do you prefer to be Mr. Missionary Position? I'm fine with wither, so it doesn't matter to me.

A compliment would be the last thing out of my mouth to a man who was so pigheaded that he could be served at a luau.

...my soul bleeding tears of anguish