I realized that it was not that I didn’t want to go on without him. I did. It was just that I didn’t know why I wanted to go on

Suicide carries in its aftermath a level of confusion and devastation that is, for the most part, beyond description.

We all build internal sea walls to keep at bay the sadnesses of life and the often overwhelming forces within our minds. In whatever way we do this--through love, work, family, faith, friends, denial, alcohol, drugs, or medication, we build these walls, stone by stone, over a lifetime.

I compare myself with my former self, not with others. Not only that, I tend to compare my current self with the best I have been, which is when I have been midly manic. When I am my present "normal" self, I am far removed from when I have been my liveliest, most productive, most intense, most outgoing and effervescent. In sort, for myself, I am a hard act to follow.

Mood disorders are terribly painful illnesses, and they are isolating illnesses. And they make people feel terrible about themselves when, in fact, they can be treated.

We all move uneasily within our restraints.

Most people don't have the advantage of being able to evaluate their doctor in advance.