We've decided [with Jordan Peele] that we need to be on the Internet for a little bit of time every day to figure out what's going on. It feels like we're working. It feels like you're all typing and you're searching.

When you're a child, the most important thing is to be able to live a life of comfort. You want to be sure that the moon goes up at night and the sun comes up in the morning and dad comes home from work.

We've decided [with Jordan Peele] that we need to be on the Internet for a little bit of time every day to figure out what's going on. It feels like we're working. It feels like you're all typing and you're searching.

One time I said to Jordan [Peele], in a text, "I will pick you up at 2:30. So if you're just standing out in front of the building, we'll go from there to the next meeting. Cool?" And my man just writes, "Wordness to the turdness."

I'm adopted, so I didn't know my father, but apparently he was pretty tall.

I have this little thing that people call Keegan-ese, where I don't speak English words at all. I just say stuff like, "You gotta toish the doish and you gotta maloish the hoish."

[Adoption] could turn you into an exquisite comedian. Ask Richard Pryor's ghost.