...Some people hurt so much they can't take what they need, even when someone wants to give it to them. (106)

Relationships are never chance events.

But insight doesn't necessarily produce self-control. Sometimes you just see your destructiveness more clearly.

Most children would rather preserve the fantasy of a loving connection with their fathers and mothers, at all costs, even if it costs them their self-esteem. When you're three or seven years old, it's less frightening to think of yourself as an unlovable, disappointing screwup than to recognize the fact that you're living with a monster.

The roots of any evil deed can be traced to the perpetrator's refusal to experience pain.

People blush when one of their core truths is revealed.

For a psychiatrist to be any good, he has to be willing to corner you, close off the easy exits, even when it hurts. It's supposed to. (46)