I think you have to be completely merciless with yourself.
Jazz is one of the least learnable art forms.
When I joined the band I didn't know any of the tunes, and when I left the band I didn't know any of the tunes!
One thing you learn: if you want to reveal yourself, you also have to know where to stop.
I actually get a metallic taste in my mouth when I think about electric music.
If music is sound & came from silence, then silence is potentially greater than sound.