Right now I think I'm the smartest I've ever been. I'm doing everything great now and everything perfect. Like with this taxes stuff. I'm getting better at that. I'm making sure everything is a write-off. Every single thing.

I have no talent. I have nothing to offer.

Whenever I feel nervous, I feel like I have to poop.

I'm 24 years old and yeah, I'm a different person and I'm definitely more mature, but these are the tops that I'm going to keep on wearing.

Nights were hard during my staying at the TV show because while my Playmate friends got to go out and party, I would have to be home by 9 p.m. I'd get a text message from a girl that read, 'Having so much fun in Vegas. Wish you were here! Partying with all these football players,' and that was devastating. I felt so trapped and angry when I was missing out on something good.

The crazy thing about television is that you are rarely allowed to grow. You are molded into a character based on some of your strongest traits, and you are forced to stay that way for your entire television life.

After living in the mansion for a year, I did miss dating, and there were times when I was out during the day or at therapy school or even at Playboy parties where I met guys. It's only natural. I needed to have my own life, or I would have gone crazy. But at the same time, I didn't want to disrespect Hugh Hefner or the Playboy name - that always came first.