The buttocks are the most aesthetically pleasing part of the body because they are non-functional. Although they conceal an essential orifice, these pointless globes are as near as the human form can ever come to abstract art.

A critic is a man who knows the way but can't drive the car.

What, when drunk, one sees in other women, one sees in Garbo sober.

The sheer complexity of writing a play always had dazzled me. In an effort to understand it, I became a critic.

A good drama critic is one who perceives what is happening in the theatre of his time. A great drama critic also perceives what is not happening.

Drama criticism ... is a self-knowing account of the way in which one's consciousness has been modified during an evening at the theatre.

A novel is a static thing that one moves through; a play is a dynamic thing that moves past one.