In love and faith I just have to believe

It's not easy-living in a void, living and dying inside your head…wanting what you want so much that you'd give everything else to get it- but the time still passes, the days go on…and as long as there's still a tomorrow, there's always a chance.

I wanted to turn everything off, too. Just press a button - click - and shut myself down. Turn off my heart, turn off my mind, turn off my body - just lie there, senseless, like a dormant tree in winter, waiting for the spring to return.

I was thinking about all these things and more, but I wasn't really thinking about them at all. They were just there, floating around in the back of my mind, thinking about themselves. What I was really thinking about, of course, was Lucas.

Trust, faith,good, bad... none of it matters. All you ever do is what you have to do. Follow your disires, fulfill your needs, escape from pain. That's all there is to it.

The days passed, as they do, and life went on.

The sadness, the silence, the darkness, the loneliness... all of it held in a simple little moment. It was just so... I don't know. Just so much.