Sports are basically our way of feeling sorry for ourselves. Most men can't become athletes. We're watching guys who actually made it. We see them dunking and making touchdowns. Then we think about ourselves when we were younger.

When you're in love, love makes you do crazy things, and can take you down a whirlwind of a road.

The second time around I'll understand that, as a husband, my wife doesn't care about my opinions. I just need to tell her the things that will continue to help me stack the brownie points.

So unless we form some kind of adequate relationship to death, we're never going to live properly, and if we think of it purely as a medical thing, we have reduced life. We should think of it as some sort of mystery which we can participate in now, not something to be pushed off to one side till the last moments.

I'm happy about working; I'm happy about gracing the stage and coming out and making people laugh. I never treat it like a job or feel that way. It's the best thing ever to me, and I feel like a kid in a candy store.

What women need to understand is that men don't communicate. It's not intentional or on purpose. We're just not as emotional. You ladies feel like you have to express yourselves.

Success isn't supposed to happen, no matter how hard you work. There's no guarantee you're going to succeed. There's nothing set in stone.