Did I try to embarrass other people? Now if it's about other people, guilty guilty guilty guilty.

Relationships are like farting, If you push too hard things could get messy real fast.

I can get where some scientists would say comedians are crazy. What you have to understand: A lot of comedians are dealing with a dark passion. A lot of these are guys coming from a tumultuous life, including myself. Some people need outlets, a way to express yourself.

Some sarcasm is best told simply. Some humor is best told big and some is best told small.

It's a well-known fact that tall people are evil.

People don't want to hear about me having leather walls or gold toilets.

Everybody wants to be famous, but nobody wants to put the work in!!