I got a dog with a Napoleon complex. I have a Napoleon complex. We're small. Anything big that we feel is threatening us, we want to fight. We're not a pushover.

I'm never gonna step away from stand-up. I can't. That's what got me where I am, and that's also my muse. That's how I stay level-headed. That's what keeps me going.

My main goal is to be a self-made man and have control over what's mine.

I'm not a big politics guy.

My mom was very strict. She didn't let me watch anything rated R or anything with cussing.

Everybody that's successful lays a blueprint out.

When I was in my early 20s I converted to Catholicism after a long period of searching. What I think drew me to the Catholic church is that in Catholicism, prayer suffuses all of one's life by virtue of the sacraments. Prayer is not something which occurs just on Sunday, it doesn't occur only at particular moments of intensity or by particular conventions, one's whole life is given up to prayer in many, many modes. And so everything to do with the faith is trying to put you in relationship with God and trying to make that relationship grow deeper and more mature.