But big people’s illnesses are always made to sound big. The simple shutting and opening of the royal arse-hole was made to sound as if the world was coming to an end.

Nature provides that a man who slaves all day should spend the hours of the night in a palace full of houris whereas a king who wields the sceptre by day should have his sleep disturbed by nightmares of rebellion and assassination.

I've had very little sex. I like my Scotch, but I've never been drunk.

I use vulgar language in my writing. Or for people I don't like, but I have never had an outburst of anger and I think that's largely [Mahatma] Gandhi's influence. When you lose your temper, you've lost your cause.

I did subscribe to the freedom movement and I was much closer to the Congress than to the Akali party. It is a communal party.

No one has invented a condom for the pen yet. My pen is still sexy.

I have never, in 50 years, ever missed a deadline [as a journalist].