See, this was why I liked coffee. You couldn’t screw up making coffee. Even the bad stuff was good.

A devious spark lit through Al, making me smile. One way. It costs too much, he said. “There’s no inflation in the ever-after, Al.” Call it a recession then. One way.

Did something happen to the sanctity of your church again?" My eye twitched. "Newt broke it so she could look in my closet." Again.

I turned back to the mirror, seeing that there were no lines on it. It was empty. "What happened to my mirror?" I said, bewildered. Then realizing that I was looking at the back of the dumb thing, I swore and turned it over.

I could sit and watch nature documentaries with Jenks and the kids the rest of the night if I wanted. And trust me, watching a dozen pixies scream as a crocodile chomped on a zebra was something not to be missed. They invariably cheered for the crocodile, not the zebra.

Dead Witch Walking is basically a modern-day witch living in Cincinnati.

They tried to kill me,” he said, his brow furrowed as he glared at them. “You saw them!” “Yeah?” I spouted off. “They weren’t very good at it!” (Trent and Rachel)