So much for playing nice.Tired, I let my eyes shut while they argued, hoping I didn’t die in the interim and make the problem moot. I wasn’t ever going to get my water. Ever.

I wish I could say I write 9-5. It's usually more like 8-6, every day but the weekends.

No exclusive,” I said aloud, watching Al for his opinion and seeing him shake his head and hold his hands out in a “bigger” gesture. He didn’t even know how large the offer was, and he thought I could get one bigger.

Lately I’d begun carrying pain amulets in my bag, like some people have breath mints.

Hey,” the other said, coming to life. “You’re supposed to be in jail.” Al grinned at him, his white-gloved grip tightening on the wooden handle, which was intricately carved in the shape of a naked, writhing woman. Nice. “And your momma wanted you to have a brain,” he said, yanking the door open and slamming it into the guy’s face.

Growing up is hard, love. Otherwise everyone would do it.

Okay, you drive," she said. "I'll sit with m head hanging out of the window like a golden retriever.