The car was full of unhappy people heading west. It was the Great American Family Road Trip, all right. Whaaa-hoo!

Did something happen to the sanctity of your church again?" My eye twitched. "Newt broke it so she could look in my closet." Again.

Hey, ah, does anyone want a cookie or something? Oh yeah. A cookie. That would make everything better. Dunked in a shot of tequila , maybe? Or better yet, just the bottle? Yeah, that ought to do it.

The quickest way to a woman's crotch is through her gullet. Can I make you a cake?" Big Al to Pierce, then Rachel.

Why aren't you afraid of me? I've seen my death, and you're not it.

the mad have a grace all their own

And if he is lying and he double-crosses you, I’ll kill him for you.” From anyone else, it would have been an idle threat, and I smiled, feeling loved. (Ivy and Rachel)