One of the great benefits of organised religion is that you can be forgiven your sins, which must be a wonderful thing. I mean, I carry my sins around with me, there's nobody there to forgive them.

How wrong people always were when they said: 'It's better to know the worst than go on not knowing either way.' No; they had it exactly the wrong way round. Tell me the truth, doctor, I'd sooner know. But only if the truth is what I want to hear.

Wives and such are constantly filling up any refrigerator they have a claim on, even its ice-compartment, with irrelevant rubbish like food.

The rewards for being sane may not be very many, but knowing what's funny is one of them.

Being American is, I think, a very difficult thing in art, because all the elements are European.

It is natural and harmless in English to use a preposition to end a sentence with.

Cats are only human, they have their faults.