One of the great benefits of organised religion is that you can be forgiven your sins, which must be a wonderful thing. I mean, I carry my sins around with me, there's nobody there to forgive them.

A German wine label is one of the things life's too short for.

Laziness has become the chief characteristic of journalism, displacing incompetence.

Wives and such are constantly filling up any refrigerator they have a claim on, even its ice-compartment, with irrelevant rubbish like food.

Education is one thing and instruction, however worthy, necessary and incidentally or monetarily educative, another.

Hangover cure: Rigorous sex, hydration, hot bath, then "go up for half an hour in an open aeroplane. (needless to say, with a non-hungover person at the controls)."

I was never an Angry Young Man. I am angry only when I hit my thumb with a hammer.