It scored right away with me by being the smooth, fine-grained sort, not the coarse flaky, dry-on-the-outside rubbish full of chunds of gut and gristle to testify to its authenticity.

I'll pour you the first one and after that, if you don't have one, it's your own f****** fault. You know where it is.

A bad review may spoil your breakfast, but you shouldn't allow it to spoil your lunch.

Death has this much to be said for it: You don't have to get out of bed for it. Wherever you happen to be They bring it to you—free.

Cats are only human, they have their faults.

Growing older, I have lost the need to be political, which means ... the need to be left. I am driven to grudging toleration of the Conservative Party because it is the party of non-politics, of resistance to politics.

Now and then I become conscious of having the reputation of being one of the great drinkers, if not one of the great drunks, of our time.