In this [show] business you do something rock 'n' roll and then that's it, finished, heads roll. It's best not to take drugs, go to sex dungeons or cause controversy. And those who've done it - Russell Brand, Angus Deayton, whoever - they've really paid for it, even if what they've done is quite trivial.
Konnie HuqI had a Saturday job in a chemist. The pay was something ridiculous like £2 an hour - it was slave labour - and I spent all day cleaning shelves. On my first day an actress from Eldorado, which was on telly at the time, came in and said, 'Can I have some Replense please?' I didn't know what it was, so I had to ask her and she had to say, 'It's vaginal moisturiser,' in front of a massive queue of people. After one day I was like, 'I don't want to do this job any more, it's just boring.'
Konnie HuqI used to quite fancy Russell Brand, but I'm not sure if it's just because he's funny. He's definitely got something and I can't just switch all that off because of one stupid moment. I fancy Barack Obama too, which is a wrong crush, isn't it? He's a married man, and he's quite old, but he looks young, so he's fair game.
Konnie HuqI went to Buckingham Palace and I wanted to take something from there, but there was nothing good to steal, although I did nick some serviettes with ER and Her Majesty on them from the Jubilee celebrations.
Konnie Huq