I went to Buckingham Palace and I wanted to take something from there, but there was nothing good to steal, although I did nick some serviettes with ER and Her Majesty on them from the Jubilee celebrations.

I met Princess Anne once at a charity do and she said Blue Peter made her realise TV was all lies - she'd gone to Africa on safari with Valerie Singleton and they didn't see a thing, but when she watched it on TV they'd edited in some lion cubs. I was like, 'Oh dear.' I still don't know if she was joking or not.

I'm no less rock 'n' roll than anyone else, I'm pretty normal.

If there are people who do it better than you, why do it?

Maybe I could do some indie film and get my kit off. I'd never say never.

I used to quite fancy Russell Brand, but I'm not sure if it's just because he's funny. He's definitely got something and I can't just switch all that off because of one stupid moment. I fancy Barack Obama too, which is a wrong crush, isn't it? He's a married man, and he's quite old, but he looks young, so he's fair game.

In this [show] business you do something rock 'n' roll and then that's it, finished, heads roll. It's best not to take drugs, go to sex dungeons or cause controversy. And those who've done it - Russell Brand, Angus Deayton, whoever - they've really paid for it, even if what they've done is quite trivial.