The mountebank told them that God was surely trying to kill them, possibly because He was through with them, and that they should have the good manners to die. This, as you can see, they did.

Laughter or crying is what a human being does when there's nothing else he can do.

I thought scientists were going to find out exactly how everything worked, and then make it work better. I fully expected that by the time I was twenty-one, some scientist, maybe my brother, would have taken a color photograph of God Almighty—and sold it to Popular Mechanics magazine. Scientific truth was going to make us so happy and comfortable. What actually happened when I was twenty-one was that we dropped scientific truth on Hiroshima.

A committee of three can accomplish much if two don't show up.

all that has changed, in my opinion, is that, thanks to television, we can hide a great depression. we may even be hiding a third world war

Earthlings went on being friendly, when they should have been thinking instead.

We are here on Earth to fart around. Don't let anybody tell you any different.