The moral of the story is we're here on Earth to fart around. And, of course, the computers will do us out of that. And, what the computer people don't realize, or they don't care, is we're dancing animals. You know, we love to move around.

[Ayres] was our city because we were building it. That's how I felt when I walked around town.

God Almighty Himself must have been hilarious when human beings so mingled iron and water and fire as to make a railroad train!

The truth is, we know so little about life, we don't really know what the good news is and what the bad news is.

How’s the patient?” asked Derby. “Dead to the world.” “But not actually dead.” “No.” “How nice - to feel nothing, and still get full credit for being alive.

My own feeling is that if adultery is wickedness then so is food. Both make me feel so much better afterward.

Just because you can read, write and do a little math, doesn't mean that you're entitled to conquer the universe.