Trust a crowd to look at the wrong end of a miracle every time.

How embarrassing to be human.

There is no good reason good can't triumph over evil, if only angels will get organized along the lines of the mafia.

Among the things Billy Pilgrim could not change were the past, the present, and the future.

I was once asked if I had any ideas for a really scary reality TV show. I have one reality show that would really make your hair stand on end: "C-Students from Yale".

I hope that my ideas attract a lively dialogue, even if my sentences are simple. Simple sentences have always served me well. And I don't use semicolons. It's hard to read anyway, especially for high school kids. Also, I avoid irony, too. I don't like people saying one thing and meaning the other.

If Jesus was alive today, we would kill him with lethal injection. I call that progress. We would have to kill him for the same reason he was killed the first time. His ideas are just too liberal.