You had to get everything exactly right or the editors would give you hell.

profanity and obscenity entitle people who don't want unpleasant information to close their ears and eyes to you.

The best jokes are dangerous, and dangerous because they are in some way truthful.

Social class means a hell of a lot and upper class people - no matter how well [Franklin ] Roosevelt did - it was stylish to hate him.

A sane person to an insane society must appear insane.

THE YEAR WAS 2081, and everybody was finally equal. They weren't only equal before God and the law. They were equal every which way. Nobody was smarter than anybody else. Nobody was better looking than anybody else. Nobody was stronger or quicker than anybody else. All this equality was due to the 211th, 212th, and 213th Amendments to the Constitution, and to the unceasing vigilance of agents of the United States Handicapper General.

I urge you to please notice when you are happy.