Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let the pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place.

Never have I risked my life, or even my comfort, in the service of mankind. Shame on me.

I think, therefore I am, therefore I am photographable.

To whom it may concern: It is springtime. It is late afternoon.

It is so short and jumbled and jangled, Sam, because there is nothing intelligent to say about a massacre. Everybody is supposed to be dead, to never say anything or want anything ever again. Everything is supposed to be very quiet after a massacre, and it always is, except for the birds. And what do the birds say? All there is to say about a massacre, things like "Poo-tee-weet?

The best jokes are dangerous, and dangerous because they are in some way truthful.

Give the reader at least one character he or she can root for.