One of the few good things about modern times: If you die horribly on television, you will not have died in vain. You will have entertained us.

I have no culture, no humane harmony in my brains. I can't live without a culture anymore.

It's perfectly ordinary to be a socialist. It's perfectly normal to be in favor of fire departments.

The chief weapon of sea pirates, however, was their capacity to astonish. Nobody else could believe, until it was too late, how heartless and greedy they were.

It pains me even now, even a million years later, to write about such human misbehaviour. A million years later, I feel like apologizing for the human race. That’s all I can say.

It's a nice glass of champagne at the end of a life.

Don't you think that's the main reason people find [writing] so difficult? If they can write complete sentences and can use a dictionary, isn't that the only reason they find writing hard: they don't know or care about anything?