That is my principal objection to life, I think: It's too easy, when alive, to make perfectly horrible mistakes.

The Chicago City News Bureau was a tripwire for all the newspapers in town when I was there, and there were five papers, I think. We were out all the time around the clock and every time we came across a really juicy murder or scandal or whatever, they'd send the big time reporters and photographers, otherwise they'd run our stories. So that's what I was doing, and I was going to university at the same time.

Freud said he didn't know what women wanted. I know what women want. They want a whole lot of people to talk to.

It goes against the American storytelling grain to have someone in a situation he can't get out of, but I think this is very usual in life.

Educating a beautiful woman is like pouring honey into a fine Swiss watch: everything stops.

Kurt Vonnegut speaking to John Irving while Irving was administering the Heimlich maneuver in response to Vonnegut's uncontrollable coughing..."John,stop- I am not choking. I have emphysema.

Our president is a Christian? So was Adolf Hitler. What can be said to our young people, now that psychopathic personalities, which is to say persons without consciences, without senses of pity or shame, have taken all the money in the treasuries of our government and corporations, and made it all their own?