That is my principal objection to life, I think: It's too easy, when alive, to make perfectly horrible mistakes.

. . . but the Universe is an awfully big place. There is room enough for an awful lot of people to be right about things and still not agree.

We are about to be attacked by Al Qaeda. Wave flags if you have them. That always seems to scare them away. I'm kidding.

Everything about life is a joke. Don't you know that?

I'm so sorry - we had this cottage up in Lake Maxinkuckee, in Culver. I've thought so often of the poor Pottawattomies we took this land away from. They must have loved it so.

Socialism is, in fact, a form of Christianity, people wishing to imitate Christ.

What can any one person do?' he said. 'Each person does a little something,' I said, 'and there you are.