Here was what Kilgore Trout cried out to me in my father's voice: "Make me young, make me young, make me young!

You should be careful about who you pretend to be, because who you pretend to be - is actually who you are!

Writers can treat their mental illnesses every day.

Generally speaking, espionage offers each spy an opportunity to go crazy in a way he finds irresistible.

Hello, babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. At the outside, babies, you've got about a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies - "God damn it, you've got to be kind."

All male writers, incidentally, no matter how broke or otherwise objectionable, have pretty wives. Somebody should look into this.

All these people talk so eloquently about getting back to good old-fashioned values. Well, as an old poop I can remember back to when we had those old-fashioned values, and I say let's get back to the good old-fashioned First Amendment of the good old-fashioned Constitution of the United States - and to hell with the censors! Give me knowledge or give me death!