Here was what Kilgore Trout cried out to me in my father's voice: "Make me young, make me young, make me young!

Scum of the Earth as some may be in their daily lives, they can all be saints in emergencies.

You want to know something? We are still in the Dark Ages. The Dark Ages--they haven't ended yet.

Montana was naked, and so was Billy, of course. He had a tremendous wang, incidentally. You never know who'll get one.

I don't know what anybody else in the world would want to thank America for, but man, it [jazz] works. What I like about it - and what public health people ought to like about it - it's safe sex.

Well, it's practically over, thank God - I'm 83, there won't be that much more of it to put up with I don't think!

During the Vietnam War, Abbie Hoffman announced that the new high was banana peels taken rectally. So then FBI scientists stuffed banana peels up their asses to find out if this was true or not.