If this isn't nice, I don't know what is.

Americans... are forever searching for love in forms it never takes, in places it can never be. It must have something to do with the vanished frontier.

Literature should not disappear up its own asshole, so to speak.

We few, we happy few, we band of brothers - joined in the serious business of keeping our food, shelter, clothing and loved ones from combining with oxygen.

I learned how to make jokes because I wanted to give people as much fun as they did, and I guess I did, too.

The biggest laughs are based on the biggest disappointments and the biggest fears.

I'm not a drug salesman. I'm a writer.