I shall ask for brains instead of a heart; for a fool would not know what to do with a heart if he had one.

To be angry once in a while is really good fun, because it makes others so miserable. But to be angry morning, noon and night, as I am, grows monotonous and prevents my gaining any other pleasure in life.

Some of my youthful readers are developing wonderful imaginations. This pleases me.

To be individual, my friends, to be different from others, is the only way to become distinguished from the common herd. Let us be glad, therefore, that we differ from one another in form and in disposition. Variety is the spice of life, and we are various enough to enjoy one another's society; so let us be content.

A little misery, at times, makes one appreciate happiness more.

You are welcome, most noble Sorceress, to the land of the Munchkins. We are so grateful to you for having killed the Wicked Witch of the East, and for setting our people free from bondage.

“And I,” declared the SawHorse, filling in an awkward pause, “am only remarkable because I can't help it.”