Couples counseling gets many couples back together. But not all, and not always. For your own sake and that of your children, however, I recommend it - I almost insist on it - as the first step for anyone unhappy in a relationship.

Whether you like it or not, the definition of family has changed. We have same-sex marriages now. We have more people who live together and have children even if they're not married. We have so many different definitions of family. I've got clients who have brothers and sisters living with them in the house, helping them raise their kids. It's a much wider definition now.

Once you do embark upon the separation or divorce process, it is very important to remember three key things: Be kind, be reasonable, be brief. Remember that this person will no longer be your spouse, but he or she will continue to be your co-parent, family member and perhaps business partner in certain assets or entities.

My personal feelings on marriage? Samuel Johnson once said that second marriages - although I could probably say this about any marriage - are about the triumph of hope over experience. I think that's true. I don't know that human beings were meant to mate for life or be monogamous. But, for me, the aspect of marriage that is troubling is that it's a contract that is governed by the state, and I don't want the state to have control over my personal affairs.

I think that people might watch reality television or what they see played out on media outlets and get ideas. We might be more anesthetized to divorce or bad behavior now because of what we see on television or on postings on TMZ. So it definitely could be filtering in to how we conduct ourselves.

Many states favor joint custody.

You live with someone, you make a commitment to honor them, respect them, and love them, and if you're going to have children, then you make a commitment to raise those children together. Why does the state have to get involved with that?