I hate women who complain about being fat when they're like a size 5. Anything under size 5 isn't a woman. It's a boy with breasts.

He will not let you come barging in to his world like the proverbial bull in the china shop.

Every relationship is messed up. What makes it really perfect is if you still want to be there when things suck.

I sat on the bed. Neither of us said anything. I wasn't slick and sophisticated enough for this. What do you say to boyfriend A when he finds you naked in the bed of boyfriend B? Especially if boyfriend A turned into a monster the night before and ate someone. I bet Miss Manners didn't cover this at all.

Death cures all ills. Well, most of them.

One thing I've learned about vampires--they keep pulling new rabbits out of their cloaks. Big, fanged, carnivorous bunnies that'll eat your eyeballs if you're not paying attention.

The true way to a man's heart is six inches of metal between his ribs." You have to love Anita Blake.