If they cheat, can I shoot them?

I’d learned a long time ago that you can’t prove a negative. You can prove that you did something, but it’s the devil to prove you didn’t do something.

Oh, no, a leopard blew up and plastered itself all over everything, but hey, animal print was in this year.

All I really wanted to do was cuddle back under the blankets, maybe with a certain stuffed toy penguin I knew. Yeah, hiding sounded good.

Some people just don't seem to understand the concept of fiction. It is fiction; it ain't true, folks

I'd never met coffee that wasn't wonderful. It was just a matter of how wonderful it was.

Nothing cuts deeper than when another person says exactly what you're afraid to say out loud.