I did a lot of research on a couple different things. One was, how do people handle hating themselves and hating others? And hatred is a secondary emotion, I think; it always springs from something else ... usually fear, that's probably what it is. So I looked a lot at that.

Knowledge was more powerful than fear. Love was stronger than hate.

And they all have pretty chilrden, And the children go to school, And the children to go summer camp, And then to the university, Where they are put in bozes And they come out all the same. - Malvina Reynolds

I was just teasing," I say. "I myself don't like to eat plain butter, but hey, it's a free world.

And you're figuring out who you are, and you haven't yet become stagnant in your thinking. You haven't solidified. And one thing that I find is that a lot of grown-ups tend to look back on their high school or middle school years and say, "Oh, thank God all that's over."

I didn't like being alone. Being alone was slightly better than having to deal with people, that's all. Or so I'd convinced myself.

You have to be nicer to me," I said. Again he laughed. "What? I'm the King of nice. What are you talking about?" "You have to be nicer to me or... or..." "Or what?" he said. Still Lars, still charming and jokey, but with a thread of fear. It snaked in and pierced my numbness and almost broke my resolve. Almost, but not quite. "Or I have ti break up with you." I whispered What was there more to say? Nothing. So I hung up.