I didn't realize then what a privilege that was: to be bored with your best friend; to have time to waste.

She was mine before she was yours.

I'd rather die on my own terms than live on theirs. I'd rather die loving Alex than live without him.

"Everyone is asleep. They've all been asleep for years. You seemed... awake." Alex is whispering now. He closes his eyes, opens them again. "I'm tired of sleeping."

Mistake, mistake, mistake. A strange word: stinging, somehow.

Sometimes I feel like if you just watch things, just sit still and let the world exist in front of you - sometimes I swear that just for a second time freezes and the world pauses in its tilt. Just for a second. And if you somehow found a way to live in that second, then you would live forever.

At the same time I know that it’s not really their fault, at least not completely. I did my part too. I did it on a hundred different days and in a thousand different ways, and I know it. But this makes the anger worse, not better.