For a second we just stand there in silence. Then, suddenly, Alex is back, easy and smiling again. “I left a note for you one time. In the Governor’s fist, you know?” I left a note for you one time. It’s impossible, too crazy to think about, and I hear myself repeating, “You left a note for me?” “I’m pretty sure it said something stupid. Just hi, and a smiley face, and my name. But then you stopped coming.” He shrugs. “It’s probably still there. The note, I mean. Probably just a bit of paper pulp by now.

People need other people to feel things for them," she said. "It gets lonely to feel things all by yourself.

I think of Grace and feel a sharp pain in my chest.

It's like a razor blade edging its way through my organs, shredding me, all I can think is: It will kill me, it will kill me, it will kill me. And I don't care.

And I guess that's when it starts to hit me: the whole point is, you do what you can.

I’m sorry for everything.” Then he turns and pushes back into the woods, and he’s gone.

That is what Alex is now: a shadow-boy