it's weird how much people change. for example, when i was a kid i loved all of these things..and over time all of them just fell away, one after another, replaced by friends and IMing and cell phones and boys and clothes. it's kind of sad, if you think about it. like there's no continuity in people at all. like something ruptures when you hit twelve, or thirteen, or whatever the age is when you're no longer a kid but a "young adult," and after that you're a totally different person. maybe even a less happy person. maybe even a worse one.

But maybe you carried your demons with you everywhere, the way you carried your shadow.

The Story of Solomon is the only way I know how to explain. And then, in smaller letters: Forgive me.

I’ve always hated being looked at.

You can try to pin me down with a hundred thousand arms, but I will find a way to resist

This is what we are made for: promises, pledges, and sworn oaths of obedience.

It's as though the words are trapped, buried under past fears, past lives, like fossils compressed under layers of dirt.