Everything looks beautiful. The Book of Shhh says that deliria alters your perception, disables your ability to reason clearly, impairs you from making sound judgments. But it does not tell you this: that love will turn the whole world into something greater than itself.

Stupid how the mind will try to distract itself.

Everything I see and touch reminds me of him, and so everything I see and touch is perfect.

That's the way I feel, at least: like there's a real me and a reflection of me, and I have no way of telling which is which.

I think of Grace and feel a sharp pain in my chest.

I start to follow her, and Alex grabs my hand. "I'll find you," he says, watching me with the eyes I remember. "I won't let you go again." I don't trust myself to speak. Instead I nod, hoping that he understands me. He squeezes my hand. "Go," he says.

like I am Alice in the Wonderland and have gotten too big for the room.