In my dream I know I am falling. But there is no up or down, no walls or sides or ceilings, just the sensation of cold and darkness everywhere. I am so scared I could scream. But when I open my mouth, nothing happens. And I wonder if you fall forever and never touch down, is it really still falling? I think I will fall forever.

people do terrible things, sometimes, for the best reasons.

I reach out and grab her wrist. It feels impossibly tiny in my hand, like this one time I found a baby bird near goose Point, and I picked it up and it died there, taking its final gasping fluttering breaths in my palm.

Most people don't want to be saved. Besides, if you keep bailing everybody out, they'll never learn to paddle on their own.

That is what Alex is now: a shadow-boy

i think of all the thousands of billions of steps and missteps and chances and coincidences that have brought me here. Brought you here, and it feels like the biggest miracle in the world.

I still wanted to know why. As though somebody was going to answer that for me, as though any answer would be satisfying.